Have you ever felt the sting of comparison?
You’ve likely heard the phrase, “Comparison is the thief of joy.” While it may seem cheesy or overused, its implication plays a role in all of our lives, especially for the youth.
In today’s increasingly polarized society, we often feel pitted against one another, striving to be the coolest. The smartest. The most athletic. There’s nothing wrong with wanting to better ourselves—if we were always completely content, life would become utterly dull. However, the major issue lies in the vicious cycle of comparison: our constant, instinctive urge to view the world as us vs. everyone else.
Imagine that you’re scrolling through Instagram, TikTok, or Snapchat. You see a friend’s post, but instead of simply liking, commenting, and moving on, you feel consumed—by jealousy. Why isn’t your life as exciting and glamorous? You are not alone. Excessive use of social media can have detrimental effects on youth mental health. According to the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services, adolescents who use social media for over three hours daily are twice as likely to suffer from poor mental health, including depression and anxiety.
Now, think back to school. You’re a high school freshman in Honors English 9, and you just got a 91% on your essay. Bursting with excitement and relief, you ask your friend about their score. They got a 93%. Suddenly, your mood plummets. You begin to doubt your effort and feel less proud of your grade. You are not alone here either. According to the CDC’s report in 2021, “more than 42% of students [in the United States] felt persistently sad or hopeless, and nearly 29% experienced poor mental health.” Even if students feel content with their scores, their happy feelings may be suppressed by their disappointment by another person doing better, contributing to the declining mental health of students as mentioned previously in the report by the CDC.
Comparison steals our joy in many aspects of life beyond social media and school. Whether it is in sports, extracurriculars, friendships, or other areas, we find ourselves viewing the world through the same lens: us vs. everyone else. Someone else’s successes become our own failures. This constant comparison is ceaseless, leading to a toxic cycle of dissatisfaction, self-doubt, and poor mental health.
So, how do we combat this?
Reflection: Take a second, a minute, or an hour to truly analyze the effects of comparison on your own life—in the way you see the world. By recognizing how comparison may be robbing you of your happiness, you can work to mitigate its negative impacts.
Gratitude: Be grateful for what makes your life exciting; glamorous; and unique, and be proud of yourself! Your 91% is evidence of your diligence and tenacity. Your friend scoring 2% higher does not invalidate your pride, joy, or hard work.
Remember, reflection and gratitude aren’t always easy. If you ever feel overwhelmed, anxious, or depressed, don’t hesitate to seek help. Don’t be ashamed of appearing vulnerable. Asking for outside support takes immense courage and is a sign of strength.
You have the power to stop comparison from stealing your joy. Embrace your uniqueness and find joy in your achievements. Don’t let others’ successes steal your happiness. Strive to seek joy from within.
Thank you to Maya B for editing this article!
Sources:
- https://www.hhs.gov/about/news/2023/05/23/surgeon-general-issues-new-advisory-about-effects-social-media-use-has-youth-mental-health.html
- https://www.cdc.gov/healthyyouth/mental-health/index.htm